♣ 遇上倒霉鬼 ♣

不知道最近是不是碰到了倒霉鬼，总是处处碰钉子。好运几时来呢？

总是做些让人看不顺眼的事情。好的总是第一个发表意见，事情不顺利的时候，就只会耍太极拳。真是气死我了！

好想把信交上去。。。

♣ NSL - Vipers against Stingrays ♣

We always started well but fumble after that. What's wrong with it? Sigh~~~ the passes were killing one another, unnecessary things that they did. No options, clashing, running into one anothers' paths, timing off, etc.

I couldn't tell the 3 sec held ball rule. It's so inconsistent in it. What's contact & what's obstruction?

Heard rumors about an UNDERAGED girl telling people that she got a girlfriend whom she's with for a year. I think she must be on drugs & hallucinating about this or rather say she's gaga over her idol? Sometimes I really wonder what's in their mind? Spreading rumors & talking rubbish to other people. What are they trying to prove?

I really couldn't stand these 2 days of NSL. So much nonsense from different people which were so frustrating.

♣ NSL "Wipers" vs "Allowanas" ♣

Didn't play today as I'm still not cleared for my strength test which I kinda predicted. Was told that in order to drop to <10%, face="Trebuchet MS">
But the good news was, my hamstring was cleared!!! Right hamstring was slightly stronger than the left.

Game started smoothly & shooters were converting the shots & I was "convinced" that we might be able to win the game. Outcome wasn't what I expected.

Fatigue comes into play very soon which leads to poor performance, poor vision, poor options. Everyone do gets fatigue at a point, is just a matter of how one controls it.

Team game needs the unit to work together & perform.

I can only give advice, not solution.

Words came out from my mouth were bad omen...

"The girl's taping was quite similiar to ACL taping. Somemore put on knee brace. Does she have ACL?" I was referring to "Allowanas" GA.

And during the game, she got herself injured after trying to save the ball. She couldn't move at all, couldn't stand up properly, couldn't walk by herself. Hmm... familiar scene... I shall asked around about her condition & see if it's really ... Anyway she should take a break from netball...

Don't tell me I can foresee thing?

♣ 蜻蜓的故事 ♣

在一个非常宁静而美丽的小城，有一对非常恩爱的恋人，他们每天都去海边看日出，晚上去海边送夕阳，每个见过他们的人都向他们投来羡慕的目光。

可是有一天，在一场车祸中，女孩不幸受了重伤，她静静地躺在医院的病床上，几天几夜都没有醒过来。白天，男孩就守在床前不停地呼唤毫无知觉的恋人；晚上，他就跑到小城的教堂里向上帝祷告，他已经哭干了眼泪。

一个月过去了，女孩仍然昏睡着，而男孩早已憔悴不堪了，但他仍苦苦地支撑着。终于有一天，上帝被这个痴情的男孩感动了。于是他决定给这个执着的男孩一个例外。上帝问他：“你愿意用自己的生命作为交换吗？”男孩毫不犹豫地回答：“我愿意！”上帝说：“那好吧，我可以让你的恋人很快醒过来，但你要答应化作三年的蜻蜓，你愿意吗？”男孩听了，还是坚定地回答道：“我愿意！”

天亮了，男孩已经变成了一只漂亮的蜻蜓，他告别了上帝便匆匆地飞到了医院。女孩真的醒了，而且她还在跟身旁的一位医生交谈着什么，可惜他听不到。

几天后，女孩便康复出院了，但是她并不快乐。她四处打听着男孩的下落，但没有人知道男孩究竟去了哪里。女孩整天不停地寻找着，然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩却无时无刻不围绕在她身边，只是他不会呼喊，不会拥抱，他只能默默地承受着她的视而不见。夏天过去了，秋天的凉风吹落了树叶，蜻蜓不得不离开这里。于是他最后一次飞落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀抚摸她的脸，用细小的嘴来亲吻她的额头，然而他弱小的身体还是不足以被她发现。

转眼间，春天来了，蜻蜓迫不及待地飞回来寻找自己的恋人。然而，她那熟悉的身影旁站着一个高大而英俊的男人，那一刹那，蜻蜓几乎快从半空中坠落下来。人们讲起车祸后女孩病得多么的严重，描述着那名男医生有多么的善良、可爱，还描述着他们的爱情有多么的理所当然，当然也描述了女孩已经快乐如从前。

蜻蜓伤心极了，在接下来的几天中，他常常会看到那个男人带着自己的恋人在海边看日出，晚上又在海边看日落，而他自己除了偶尔能停落在她的肩上以外，什么也做不了。
这一年的夏天特别长，蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飞着，他已经没有勇气接近自己昔日的恋人。她和那男人之间的喃喃细语，他和她快乐的笑声，都令他窒息。

第三年的夏天，蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的恋人了。她的肩被男医生轻拥着，脸被男医生轻轻地吻着，根本没有时间去留意一只伤心的蜻蜓，更没有心情去怀念过去。

上帝约定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最后一天，蜻蜓昔日的恋人跟那个男医生举行了婚礼。

蜻蜓悄悄地飞进教堂，落在上帝的肩膀上，他听到下面的恋人对上帝发誓说：我愿意！他看着那个男医生把戒指戴到昔日恋人的手上，然后看着他们甜蜜地亲吻着。蜻蜓流下了伤心的泪水。

上帝叹息着：“你后悔了吗？”蜻蜓擦干了眼泪：“没有！”上帝又带着一丝愉悦说：“那么，明天你就可以变回你自己了。”蜻蜓摇了摇头：“就让我做一辈子蜻蜓吧……”

有些缘分是注定要失去的，有些缘分是永远不会有好结果的。爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人就一定要好好去爱他。你的肩上有蜻蜓吗？

♣ Beyond control ♣

After since I started the course, there were too much thoughts in my mind. It's like searching a file/folder in computer but I realised it didn't work for me. I needed a lot of spare time to do my workouts & personal stuff.

But I guessed I got to deal it in my own ways, to sort things out. I'm playing against the time... from 7.20am to 6.30pm, mondays to fridays. Rushing & rushing, and everytime I asked myself, "Is it worth to do?"

"Things aren't beyond my control..." I almost burst into tears yesterday when I really couldn't take it, & thanks to the little sad love story read by the DJ, I teared.

Losing my faith & hope everytime things turned sour.

你相信报应吗？为人处事不好，就别想得到好的待略!

♣ Fresh start ♣

After 5 years, I finally made a decision to further studies. Well~~ I didn't further in my engineering but to another course that's related to what I've been doing for the past 12 years.

The lecturer was so naggy & kept saying good things about ITE. Though the lesson was a bit dry, I managed to pull it through.

Got to work harder now... I don't have much time to do what I want. No time for weights, no time for luxury, no time for pleasure... even NSL is starting soon... my goodness...

Just endure for 2 years...

♣ Passed!!! ♣

Yeah!!! I passed my English Proficiency Test!!! Was so delighted upon receiving the letter stating I passed!!! I could still remember shading the OAS paper for 100 questions & I was struggling towards the end of the paper section, Close Passage.

I can't wait for Friday to come!!! It's GOOD FRIDAY!!!

I needed a break badly...

I wanna go on holidays.... to where? Korea? Japan? Rome?

Sigh~~~ No $ no talk..

♣ Passionfruit is in town ♣

Finally it's here in Singapore!!! Just had 1 & it's so yummy.... My favourite fruit~~~

♣ Stop it ♣

Fed up by you again.

Just stop it.

♣ S.P.A.M ♣

Fern, Ling & I went for S.P.A.M event organised by SSC yesterday at St. James Power House. We reached there at 4.15pm for the rehearsal but guess what? Netballers were forgotten for the rehearsal & the rest were happily glad that their part were ran through. I asked the lady who's in charge of us why we were not in the rehearsal & she checked with the "man". Oh ya, before I forgot, I did ask the one when's our turn to go? And she was so rude in replying, "Oh, I also don't know leh. Wait for the "man" to call you all." What the hell is she to give me that irritating face.

After the lady clarified with the "man", "he" came & apologised to us & said he will slot us in after fashion show 2. And the one came & be a parrot of the "man". I was so pissed off & told Fern, "Wow, now so eager to inform us!" I bet she heard it but no choice, I was super duper pissed off. And she tried to be nice by coming over to tell us where the snacks were & I gave her a "don't come & trigger me" look.

No more rehearsal after that & everyone got to go on with whatever they need to do. We were guessing whether they will forget us again. And true indeed, they really forgot. Until we were beside the one again. She saw us & panicky, she talked on the walkie talkie & said "netballers are here. netballers are here." Arghhh!!!! Super irritating!!! No choice, we got to "parade" ourselves with our own netball shorts (luckily it's ours), size M jackets & size S sports bra (provided by them). It was a joke! The MCs don't know what to talk about Netball!!!

The clowns were the "boys" from Dragonboat. 2 of them actually did push ups trying to show off in front of us. Trying to impress?

♣ Biodex test again ♣

In my previous post I wrote about my ACL leg getting stronger & therefore, I did biodex test again. Before I kicked off, Steve was so kind to me. He helped me releasing the tightness of my leg. Thanks!!!

Just for a change, I started with my ACL leg first instead of the good leg. It really felt good doing today than the previous time I did it.

Good news : I have 14% of deficit but the total work is 19%.

I have another 2 more weeks to pump the ACL leg again. Hopefully I can "graduate" from there.

Today is the happiest time I've ever been for the past 10 months.

♣ Muscles big big lah ♣

My right quad is getting bigger now, which is a good sign? 3 days of intensive weights program really fired the quad & that means I'll be gaining more mass. *Arghhh* I must control my diet now... No more chocolates...

On my way back home, I thought about the times when I had my ACL operation. Thanks to those who stayed by my side til I finished the op. I'm really grateful to you all though I tend to forget sometimes.

After looking through the namelists of the nsl teams, Fern told me to be careful of that crazy woman. She's playing!!! Will she go crazy again?

I envy the rest. I hope to do my best for myself,& nobody else.

♣ Tougher & tougher ♣

Suppose to blog yesterday but I was left with little time to do preparations for next training. Not mentally preparation but to prepare training & after shower clothings. I've been hitting the gym to pump my ACL leg since wednesday. It's getting stronger now, so let's hope that I can clear this time round.

Open squad did total of 19 sets of shuttle runs. I really can't imagine how will I survive that... I need to buck up...

It's getting nearer & nearer & I really hate it...

♣ blah blah blah ♣

Took 1/2 day to pray to this god called 虎爷;it means tiger god. People prayed to this god to wish that their work will go smoothly without nuisance around them, & I do it too. I want my work to go smoothly without nuisance around or rather say everything that evolves my life will go smoothly. Well~~~ if you aren't from Taoism, you won't know about all this.

Things aren't getting as simple as I thought nowadays... If you try to be funny, be prepare to get played back.

This is only the start & I felt sick about it already. How am I suppose to go through it for the next few years?

*shout* "I'm restless with insufficent rest... I want freedom back..."

♣ 1st national training of 2008 ♣

Before court work, we gathered for a meeting with Lisa to talk about training. I was shocked after looking through the paper she gave us. Trainings on Monday to Saturday!!! My goodness... my life~~~ When she said that Rashid will plan the conditioning session, I gave out a "shock" sound & she asked "Why?" I just shook my head & smiled back. Of all people, why choose him again... Oh no!!! Beep test runs again...

I just realised that I'm the OLDEST in this current national squad. *cry*

I won't be doing court work/ play games for the next 3 weeks until I do the test again & hopefully I can clear it. Fern said that people will start to question me like "Why can you play World Champs when you weren't cleared?" If you were in my shoes, will you go for it? Right now there's no major competition & I really want my leg to be fully recovered.

If anyone thinks it's easy to clear, then please have an ACL injury & go through it.
You won't understand how I feel as you only think for yourselves.
Can anyone imagine the soreness at the back of the knee & you can't even straighten the leg after all the trainings/games?

♣ Not passed! ♣

Did the biodex test today again & this is the 11th time I've done it. I don't think any athletes have done so much in their life before. Well~~~ this time I felt good doing it but the result wasn't that great.

Good news : ACL leg has grown stronger.
Bad news : Good leg also grown stronger.

Sigh~~~ In the end, I'm not cleared yet. Soooo frustrating!!!

NSL selection has changed the format & this time round Lisa, the natioal coach, will allocate national players into the teams. Arghhh~~ I don't want to play for xxx.