Stress and Bored...

I'm having stress now and it's piling up each day... wondering if one day when I really can't take it anymore, what will I do? Will I end up going bonkers or like those people ending their lives? No! I won't... I will destress myself with weights, running and perhaps... other kind of exercises.

I'm just a boring person who do routine stuffs, eating same meals everyday... What's so exciting to keep changing the food that I eat? Perhaps there's only 1 word that can describe me, BORING!

NSL 2009 selections

Tried very hard to wake up @ 8.30am to do laundry but failed... Everytime the alarm rang, I just added 5 more mins to it. Finally @9.30am, I managed to make my way to the toilet. :)
After hanging the wet clothes, I quickly rushed down to buy my daily dosage of caffeine, "Kopi O" from the coffeeshop. Just can't imagine my life without it, I'll be stoning the whole day.

Went to Bedok Sports Hall for the selections and I only played 2 games for the entire 4 1/2 hours. The worst part is my right knee is swollen after the games. Sigh~~~ what's wrong again... Every now and then, I have been thinking of the worst scenario and I'm crossing my fingers now.

Got my NSL team which I think will be "Vipers". Yellow colour again... Oh my goodness... Can I have new colour?

Baby Geraldine

Yesterday I went to visit my best friend who gave birth to baby Geraldine in Thomson Medical Centre. It was my 1st time to hospital with a happy mood and not a sad one. Baby was sleeping so soundly and it's so amazing to see the tiny little girl. Looking at her papa's expression when he went over to see her, the joy on his face was indescribable. I guessed it's happier than striking 4D.

It's just so amazing how a bb is delivered to this world... I was once a bb too but it's impossible to recall the 1st time I cried, the 1st time I made a sound...

I only know that I'm from the TANs family...

As mentioned in the previous post that I'm having a fitness test today, I was surprised that I improved from the last test. My vertical jump improved by 3cm though I still couldn't hit 60cm, and also my yo-yo test, I improved by 40m. *giggling*

Now... the worst is yet to come... there's still another BEEP test on this coming thursday. Oh no... will I reach level *? I do hope I can... *pray hard*

Hey readers, please vote for my poll.... I need to know...

Unexpected + shocked

Hmm... haven't been updating my bloggy for so long but the thing is, I don't have much things to talk about. In fact, most of the times, I was complaining and yes this post is going to be one too.

Not happy with the current situation and I don't know what causes it to happen. Ever since my ACL operation, things changed. It wasn't the same as before, in fact, I was left out. Today I saw her shocked face when I appeared. Shocked or guilt?

I tried to ignore the angrish emotions and I did it. I really wanted to leave very badly as I couldn't stand it anymore.

Tomorrow is fitness test and I have no idea how far I can reach this time round. Hope for the best!

Doesn't pay to be kind

Doesn't pay to be kind.. this phrase is really true. Sometimes being cruel is much better than kind, besides bad man always win. Because of that stupid lorry driver with indecisive decision ruined my whole weekend mood!!! No mood to do anything...

F1 Amber Lounge

Yesterday night we (the netball team) went to F1 Amber Lounge at Millenia Walk. Thought it was fun and would be able to see celebrities but didn't manage to see any in the end. Drank too much yesterday and I fell asleep while the rest were eating their supper at Geylang. Eventually I puked in a mini plastic bag... gross... No more alcohol for 1 year. It just reminds me the puking scene.

Late for work

Yesterday is the day when I broke my 5 years record of punctuality to work. Luckily Fern is kind enough to send me to work, if not, I got to spend $$.

Learnt my lesson & I shall not snooze so much again...

Long long tiring day

Went swimming today in the late morning & found out that the pool was full of people. Kids having swimming lessons, youngsters lazing in the pool. Swam for 45 minutes with rest in between before going back home.

As usual, I'm an indecisive woman who wanted to go Bugis in the afternoon but changed my mind again due to my tiredness/sleepyness. Wanted to laze around in his house but he seemed to be very eager going out taking pictures using his new DSLR. Got told off by him when I told him that I wanted to stay home. :s

In the end, we went to Chinatown, Clarke Quay, Fort Canning before we went back... Today's weather is a killer, I really perspired...

Can't wait for next saturday to come... Going to F1 Amber Lounge!!!

Running kick

After running twice since active rest started, I began to fall in love with it... Perhaps my calves are getting stronger that made me feel like running now... Shall strengthen it again...

I shall run slightly faster for my next run... Got to improve my speed, stamina... No more slacking...

1st DSLR

Finally I got my very 1st DSLR Canon EOS450D on saturday. It took me ages before deciding to buy... And it was so.... shiok!!! Gonna explore the camera more...

Restrict or not?

Maybe I should restrict my blog... Should I? Yes maybe...

If you have doubts, don't read the posts...

In this stressed society, who's not stress? Unless one is brainless...

In a game, there's always a winner and a loser... And everyone wants to be the winner, who will be so generous to take the loser position? You?

Even our famous table tennis player lost the match in Olympics, should Singaporeans blame her?
Even the famous badminton player didn't make it too, should Singaporeans blame him?

Netball is a team sport, not an individual. True enough we lost the title but this is a new team that trained together for only 4 months. And this team consists of young players who need to be guided. Human beings do mistakes, so do players and you can't expect a player to be so perfect.

Yesterday's Nations Cup dinner was crazy... Crazy because it rained so heavily & the staffs were busy helping out. Crazy because I drank alot. Crazy because the music was so nice...

I danced crazily yesterday & those around might be surprised. A stern-looking person on court will actually danced so crazy at the party. Perhaps it was a good to relax; been stressed up during the Nations Cup.

Seen the ugly & greedy side... The head is getting bigger and bigger...

Nations Cup

5 days of Nations Cup had passed...

Loss to Sri Lanka was indeed a disappointment;not only us but also the spectators who came specially came down to watch. I guessed we lacked of the desire to win on that day though we knew that we could have won.

Win over Samoa was good & it's a bonus to our young team. Being a new developed team with some oldies, I thought we did well in this game.

Loss to Papua New Guinea was another disappointment & I must admit that I played badly in that game. I just couldn't find the right time to go to the space I wanted & ended up delaying all the plays. We were "lost" when they put in consecutive goals due to our own mistakes which I thought we shouldn't have done. Well... it's over and we got to carry on with our next game.

"Never say die"

Training camp

3 consecutive days of full training & my body was aching terribly. We had games against the 21s & the men's team.

And my face got scratches during yesterday's game with 21s. That vain woman didn't even cut her fingernails short & she behaved like a cat; scratched my face with her fingernails. Damn~~~

A comment from a player: "Wow... so pia.."
I said: "So what? Pia at the wrong time." *laugh*

Was disappointed with my own play and shooting. Should I be more dominant or passive? Shooting has becoming worst... Wondering what the $&^#!@ am I thinking... Every moment I have been thinking on court, perhaps think too much. Can't wait for wednesday to come... And I can fully concentrate...

Nations Cup is here!

Dear netball supporters,

Nations Cup is here soon! Please show your support to the Singapore Team & let us hear your Cheers!!!

http://www.netball.org.sg/index.php?page=nations

Sunburn

Training + match play under the hot sun is a terrible thing to do on a saturday morning. And playing as a GA really made me panting madly and I could feel my skin burning under the sun rays.

Training lasted for 3 hours and I'm glad it's over & it seemed like I had finished a carnival. For so long I had never eaten duck rice and it just tasted so yummy when I'm eating for my lunch. Yummy~~~ and the additional char siew... *slurp*

Team meeting finished at 5pm. Home sweet home~~

Fern went to clubbing with the rest. I'm supposed to go too but I didn't. Perhaps it's a good choice not to go as I got really terrible headache now. I guessed I got heat stroke.. "Alamak"

Relieve...

After slogging hard for 7 days, I felt so relieved at 8.45pm once the papers were submitted. No regrets... Not too bad, I forced myself to memorise the answers in 1 1/2 days. My goodness... My brain can actually memorise so much things within a short period of time. Hopefully I will get good results this time round.

I'm in for the Nations Cup team & which means I got to do a lot of extra work. I'm very busy preparing for the tests again. So fast... every 3 months I got to face the tests... stress...

Looking back in the past when I sacrificed my precious times just to do netball trainings & it really taken away a lot of things from me. My career (which I haven't move on), my social life, my relationship (almost gone at a point of time), my degree. Should I blame NETBALL for taking away these stuffs? Well... I used to do so but 2nd thoughts came, why blame it when I still continue playing? I can just stop & have all my life back. I can only say that PASSION is in me.

Being national netballer isn't easy, you have to face a lot problems in school, work, home, friends. And when it comes to trainings, you just have to put aside all the problems and focus in trainings. It's tough, especially when you are sad after a quarrel/fight with your loved ones. How to focus?

I often ask myself, "If I ever stopped playing netball, will I have a bad figure?" Oops, though my figure is not that good now but you should know what I mean...

Fern had her tough days too... her studies weren't that outstanding (which is eyeshocking to me) and she got hard times coping with it. Though she couldn't continue her Honours, I'd never heard her complaining that NETBALL caused her to lose Honours. But she did nag that if she got HONOURS, she'll be earning few more hundred bucks.

Everyone has their own problems & it's how you deal with it with your own mind.

Back from Perth Training Trip

A week spent in Perth was really fast & I do missed staying in Perth. Stayed at Scarborough Observation Resort & 18 of us stayed in 4 units. Schedule was tight & we were hurried for trainings, games, ice baths, lunches & dinners. The team was slow with no sense of urgency which I didn't know why & poor Lisa was so pissed that she didn't want to talk to anybody.

Perhaps I missed those times Vicky, ex-national team manager, who often scolded us for being slow or not getting the things done correctly. In this manner, most of the players were scared of her & would have sense of urgency.

1st game against one of the ANL team & we really really played so badly. We just couldn't bond together or rather said that we played individually or trying to test one another's abilities.

2nd game against the Men's Team. Oh my god, they're super fast with their play, playing with their abilities & not being contactive. I could said that they are the gentlemen as they would hold you back when they knocked you down, unlike some other players. Bad game too... We just couldn't control our passes; slow & sloppy.

3rd game against the Men's Team again. Much better flow with a little bit of controlled passes & pace.

4th game against WAIS development & invitees. A younger group of players to challenge. Much better passes & we controlled the game quite well. And I had to be the "captain" for this game. I was soooooo nervous that at a point of time, I forgot that I'm the captain.

5th game against WAIS squad. Though the results was upsetting, we managed to play better as a team, knowing one anothers' abilities.

6th game against the Men's Team. At the 1st quarter, we managed to hit 12 goals for the attack side. That's a boost for us. But after that, we went into a slump. What happened? At the end of the game, the men were so sweet that they gave us little gifts wrapped up in pink.

Through this trip, I know what I need to improve. My runs as a GA were much more better but my shots were lousy. And the most important thing is I must get a TIP/INTERCEPTION! *angry* I didn't manage to do it in any single games & I swear that it'll be part of my goal from now on.

Through this trip, I could understand some players better & able to know whether the players has motives in their mind or players who are humble by nature. I could only adviced that being arrogant won't get you anywhere... so please be humble. At least people won't dislike you. =) And it's unhealthy to bring in the bad habits as we don't need that.

I disappoint him again... Wanted to meet him before I leave to Perth but my mum woke up & started nagging, "So late, still want to go out?" Sigh~~ Was kinda frustrated as I know she'll nag at me again if I really go out. And the worst is she might call & scold me so I ended up not meeting him, causing him to be disappointed.

I'm sorry~~~

Shock

Did the yo yo test during training & I'm worried if I will "deproved" again. Luckily this time round I improved~~~ Yeah~~~ I will work harder towards it.

If I hesitate to brake for few seconds, I think 小白 will be gone... Really such a close shave & my heart was thumping on the way til I off the engine. Sigh~~ shall be more careful the next time. Err... no more next time... I rather receive the "horns" from others than to crash 小白.

The night is not young anymore & I started to talk rubbish. Hint : Time to sleep!

Fitness test again

I couldn't believe that my vertical "deproved", my sprints "deproved". Oh no!!! Time to buck up! Just hope that everything will end soon & I can concentrate more on national trainings. To get back in tip top form for the upcoming games which I doubt I can... Whatever it is, I must try my best.

Sigh~~ Dislike those people who do things purposely just to know the truth. Ask la... Sigh~~~ Hopefully there'll be no commotion around & I shall be on low til it fades.

Piercing

Yeah!!! I finally got another piercing that I've been yearning for it & it takes a lot of courage for me to get it done. Not as painful as I expected & the piercer is so experienced that she took few seconds to get it done. Shall take good care of it in case there's infection. *smile*

Beware...

Never judge the book by its cover so early. I realise I can roughly gauge the person's character/personality easily & will able to know whether the person is good or bad. Hmmm... Is it good or bad thing? Time will reveal the truth & I shall see if my judgement is correct.

Already suspected why she's there to listen to conversation. To know more what's going on & go around spreading? Oops, I hope not. If not, I'll be mute.

Last game for National League

Today is the last game for National League & though we can't play in the finals, we still want to win this game. It's about time to start the game but 1 of the umpires wasn't here & they asked Wai Yee to umpire the game.

At first I was like "huh..." but as the game progressed, she's very fair in umpiring. She called for the infringements, saw it and called for it. I was really impressed by her even though she had some weird calls. She reversed the penalty, advanced the ball when she found that the player was delaying the penalty. And again, I was really impressed.

I seldom praised umpire but Wai Yee, you are really GOOD!

Lost my cool on court because I really couldn't stand it, I had reached my max in tolerating. I'm sorry if you had my elbow but, you made me do it.

We played chasing game from the start til 3rd quarter & finally it's their turn to chase.
Luckily we won... but we aren't happy about it. We made it hard for ourselves... Sigh~~
BLAZE, Jia you!!!

Knee hurts

Knee had been hurting since Monday & the pain had becoming sharper each day. What's wrong again? I was told my muscles were too tight & I needed to stretch more. When I run, it's ok but when I walk, the pain is excruciating. Tomorrow I got to see physio.

Hmmm... the eyes of everyone who witnessed the "push". Seems like there's no improvement at all & every go, there's a "push". Something's wrong out there...

It was always so enjoyable training with Blaze. The laughters, the silly jokes we created, the "humiliation" we made, were all so family.

Was looking forward to drive the Toyota Vios to training but I was disappointed by my own driving. Perhaps it was the long period of time since I drove a manual car & the car was stalled 3 times in 30 mins.

Couldn't control the clutch (as usual) & now I know why people refused to drive a manual car. I was busy changing the gears while on my way. I'm beaten by this car today. Overall I really felt demoralising when driving.

I was pushed to do my max weight for the box squats at 85kg (with weights & barbell) & I could really feel my hamstring working very very hard...

Funny thing today: Hui Lin was encouraging me when I'm doing the dumbbell shoulder press. She went "1/2 way. Yes! You still looking good...blah blah blah." Once I finished my set, I told her not to encourage me next time as I really felt like giving up when she encouraged. Kinda funny but I couldn't take it. It made me feel soft-hearted & wanted to give up. Funny gal isn't it?

Joe surprised me by appearing in KNC. Wow... it's really a big surprise today... :) so happy...

Lousy game

Had a lousy game today against Labten & I must admit that I couldn't focus throughout the game. Not because of complacency but the main reason was I slept for too long in the afternoon. This time round the coffee didn't help by giving me a wake up call & lower back was aching so badly after the nap.

Shots were bad as I couldn't estimate the amount of energy I got to use in shooting. Perhaps it was the cause from the weights I did in the morning but still, there're no reason for missed shots!

We won eventually but the team weren't happy about it. And I guessed we knew what's the reason behind it.

Gd nite everyone... Have an enjoyable weekend. I do hope everyday is a Sunday.

Laughters

Since weekend til today, I finally laughed heartily. Friends are so funny when they tried to create nonsense in front of lecturer. "Craps!" That's the term they used in today's lecture. And I must say the lecturer was abit "lo soh" and his lecture is too dry that makes my eyeballs keep rolling;falling asleep soon.

Thanks to "The Rock" who entertained me & Ling. That funny guy... trying to show off his muscles...

There're so much thoughts today...

What's so great being a national netballer?
Why do I still want to play competitive games?
How to balance my life?
Where's the support?

I really don't know. What should I say? Unlucky year? Like how others say on court, "Unlucky" Then when's lucky?

I'm trying to balance my life... but there're still faults...

♣ Perth ♣

Yoohoo~~~ Been on a trip with Fern & Ling & the rest joining (Jean, Joanne, Pearline & her hubby) to Perth for holiday, meeting Kate, shopping, sightseeing & watching Kate's ANZ team game. We rented a car with no GPS & took ages to reach our destination. It was fun though with frustrations in us when we couldn't find the place.

Today we drove to Fremantle & went to do market shopping. The fruits & vegetables look so nice & tempting... *drool* After marketing, we headed to Fisherman's Village which we took almost 1/2 to 1 hr to reach the destination. Had our lunch at the most famous Fish & Chips restaurant.

Headed to Harbour Town next where we spent most over there. Quite happy that I bought a casual dress which I couldn't find in Singapore. Legs are aching & now we are waiting for my dad's friends for dinner!!! PR time~

Finally I got to do ice bath recovery after today's training & it's so.... shiok!!! Was disappointed in myself because I couldn't train at >75% due to the strained quads muscles... Damn~~~ got to see physio on this saturday. To see what actually goes wrong...

I really needed to vent out the frustration within me...
I really wish that b***h will stay as a spinster for the rest of her entire life...I will wish this on my birthday or when I see a shooting star. I can't stand it!!! Stop acting in front of other people. The worst woman I've ever met.

♣ Ice bathssss ♣

Seriously I really needed ice bath after each training/game. Am I getting older that my muscles getting tighter each time I exercise?

Comments for the monday game.
1. Frustrations were there when we started & I supposed we were angry with one another's play, especially after I strained my left leg quad muscle when I did 1 sprint during warm up. I couldn't afford to aggrevate it any further, if not, I need to rest on the bench.

2. Frustrations again. My players were penalised when the contacts were mild & when we were contacted really hard, not contesting, they weren't penalised. My goodness... well done, I can say.

3. Frustrations again. The players played damn super rough. Did they realise they are late for the interceptions? And poor Fern got to protect the ball but they just go for it. Why? Because umpires don't blow. That's why players were so ill-disciplined.

Strained my muscle on monday & got to train on tuesday. Lisa told me to go easy for the drills but it didn't turn out that way. Got to run very carefully for prevention & I almost got calf muscle pulls towards the end of the training.

I need ice bath... ice bath...

♣ Do you remember... ♣

If you are from my ERA... you should know about this famous chocolate that primary school kids used to give out to their friends on their birthday... I had a crave for it & bought it to share with my teammates...

To all the rich kids, do not think that this is a lousy chocolate. Though it only cost $0.80 per packet, it's comparable to TOACKER.

♣ I need ICE BATH!!! ♣

My legs were aching from yesterday's fitness test & after today's training, my back is aching. Oh!!! I need ICE BATH!!!

Couldn't focus during the friendly game against 21s & I hated it... No fire today... Is just the sparks. It dies off one min & came back a few. Sigh~~~ Must be the confusion I had before the training started.

Time to buck up!!! I didn't do those stuffs which Lisa wanted us to do but I picked up a number of loose balls, that's just a luck.

I'll come back to my own psycho self again the next round.

Training at Jurong West Sports Complex isn't a great idea. Reached home @ 10.45pm which is kinda late. My sister is complaining & complaining...

♣ 1st fitness test ♣

Today I finally did the whole fitness test but this time round, it only comprises vertical jump, sprint & the yo yo test.

My vertical jump improved 1cm from the last year testing...
My sprinting... damn shiok... I had never run so fast before. So fast that even the instructors told me to run again as they couldn't believe that I could hit 1.99sec for 15m sprint. So I did it & I hit 1.98sec. Well done Yan!!! Deserves a clap...
Finally the yo yo test... I missed the previous testing & I only ran 720m for it. Sounds lousy & I really agreed but the intensity was so high. Well~~ it's ok. There're still room for improvements!!!

Sigh~~ Tomorrow's national training will be at Jurong West Sport Complex. So sad!!! It's so far away...

♣ Good training session ♣

Time passes so fast when the training is fun & learning new stuffs. Have been learning new stuffs from Lisa & I hope I can put into good use someday. Though it's not a day or two to master the skills, I will try to remember it.

Don't know why there's discomfort at the back of my ACL leg. Muscles too tight? Or am I losing my strength? Sigh~~~ I need to work hard again...

I must continue to work hard!!!

♣ Careless ♣

Was happily when I handed it up & thought "Phew....it was a relief once it's over..." But realized I missed out the part 2 of a question. Oh no!!! I was so disappointed in myself for not checking properly for my questions.

Just now before I had my dinner, I tried to hold a bowl of hot soup by 2 fingers (figured it out how to hold) & the finger got scalded after dipping into the soup.

I can't believe that I'm super careless today!!!

♣ Unlucky day ♣

I was so clumsy in the morning that I spilled my favourite boosting drink, Kopi O, on my desk. I didn't react quick enough to stop it from flowing down to my jeans. Arrggh!!! Took quite awhile to clean the mess I'd created & finally got the time to eat my "Cai Tou Kway" & drink the leftover 1/4 packet of coffee. I'll be more careful next time...

Not enough sleep... not enough time... Haven't really prepare for the next one & I'm gonna doomed!!!

♣ Playing against cats? ♣

Collected scratches & bruises from NSL games. Am I playing against wild cats or just some creatures with claws?



This is too much!!!

Hmm... I caught one wearing in attire talking to them in their playing attires. Something fishy... Is the one on their side? Does the one know the basic rules not to get involve? Really sucks...

♣ Blushing ♣

After so long, I blushed in front of them while presenting. To stand in front & talked to the rest who paid attention to what I'm talking, made my whole face flushing red.

How to be an influential person talking on the stage without the whole face flushing red?

Anyway... well done to my group!!!

♣ Weekend off ♣

I'm so glad there's a break from NSL this weekend. Hectic schedule for this week & I'm trying my best to do many things in a day. Finally I did full national training today, but my muscle is getting tighter which somehow affect my movements.

Training was so competitive nowdays which I don't know the reason behind it. I tried my best to be competitive by using my brain to think. I don't give a damn if you wanna challenge me, because I'll make sure it's a win-lose situation. Challenges make me grow to a even better one. Beware!!

Gonna buck up on my fitness which I haven't done it for so long. But I don't have the TIME!!!

♣ Can be lousier? ♣

I had reached to a point where I really couldn't differentiate the judgements. It's the lousiest judgements I'd ever encountered. Can the better ones come forward? Poor judgements & prejudiced. If you are the one being likened, well... congrats as you will be treated good. If is ..., work harder for yourself then.

Thought one should be fair... I don't think so.

I'd been stretching my hamstring & it's kind of sore from the stretchings... Arghhh...

♣ Weak ♣

I can't imagine that I'm not able to lift 70kg of barbell with weights for my box squats. I really could feel my glutes firing while lifting the weights. But it's ok... this will be my new start after the injury, to be able to carry on with Chin (the instructor)'s program without worrying about my injury.

Another exercise is the Glutes Ham Raise. Both of my hamstrings were really "activated" & doing their work, and my legs turned jelly jelly after doing it.

The bruise on my eye hasn't subsided yet, and thanks to the one who gave it to me. I got to live with "disfigured" face for 5 days at work. Time really passed so fast when there're tons of things to do at work, trainings. Though tiring, it's meaningful to me. I couldn't understand myself getting "devoted" into my work, but I will give my best once it's "dedicated" to me. How to say "NO"?

♣ 初恋是一张试纸 ♣

初恋是一张试纸

他与她青梅竹马

4岁，他开始喜欢她

9岁，在学校读书，她受了委屈会去找他，再没同学欺负她

18岁，他们相约考入同一所大学，每天一起上课，一起去学校食堂吃午饭。她有不开心的事了，依然会去找他，把他当做自己的大哥一样。

19岁，他对她说：做我的女朋友吧。她点点头答应了，感觉很幸福。

21岁，他们分手了。她流泪问他：你真爱上别的女孩子？

他点点头，有点无奈。　　　　

她又问：她漂亮吗？　　　　

他淡淡地答：你能肯定我们就是最合适的吗？我不想把这么美好的青春只给一个人。你难道不想再试试除我而外的其他男人吗？

毕业之后，他们一直没有任何联系。

25岁，她成了当红的女主播，他也在一家电视台做幕后翻译。这些年，他恋爱一场又一场，每次结束一段感情，都会想起她。

26岁，她结婚，只是觉得疲倦，好想找个肩膀靠一靠。

她主播的节目，他会小心避开，他怕看见电视里的她。她事业很好，却是个生活一团糟的女子，家务也不会做。家里尽管有了佣人，她的丈夫依然处处对她不满。

有一晚，他们吵了嘴，她开车出去在街上转了一晚，不知为什么，想起他，眼泪忽然落下来。　

29岁，她离婚。

31岁那年，他辗转找到她的电话号码，犹豫很久打了过去，这已是他们分手的第10个年头了。10年，可以改变一个人很多，对事情的看法，也完全不一样了。

31岁那年，她与他在酒店的大厅见面，往事历历在目，经过这些年的波折，都知道了生命中值得珍惜的情感并不多。两个人用了10年的青春，绕了很大一圈又回到了起点。

婚后很幸福。她因为经历过一次失败的婚姻，已懂得如何心疼一个男人；他对失而复得的这份爱，更加珍惜。如果不是这10年的经历，他们大概不会懂得这份婚姻对彼此的重要性。初恋是爱情的一张试纸，很多时候，我们都以为会有更好的人等在后面。殊不如，最好的人有时就在眼前，错过这一站，有时就错过了一生。

♣ Ferrari!!! ♣

Cool cars displaying in front of Bedok Sports Hall carpark & I didn't realise it was Ferrari. Hmm... I'm just not very into cars.

♣ 遇上倒霉鬼 ♣

不知道最近是不是碰到了倒霉鬼，总是处处碰钉子。好运几时来呢？

总是做些让人看不顺眼的事情。好的总是第一个发表意见，事情不顺利的时候，就只会耍太极拳。真是气死我了！

好想把信交上去。。。

♣ NSL - Vipers against Stingrays ♣

We always started well but fumble after that. What's wrong with it? Sigh~~~ the passes were killing one another, unnecessary things that they did. No options, clashing, running into one anothers' paths, timing off, etc.

I couldn't tell the 3 sec held ball rule. It's so inconsistent in it. What's contact & what's obstruction?

Heard rumors about an UNDERAGED girl telling people that she got a girlfriend whom she's with for a year. I think she must be on drugs & hallucinating about this or rather say she's gaga over her idol? Sometimes I really wonder what's in their mind? Spreading rumors & talking rubbish to other people. What are they trying to prove?

I really couldn't stand these 2 days of NSL. So much nonsense from different people which were so frustrating.

♣ NSL "Wipers" vs "Allowanas" ♣

Didn't play today as I'm still not cleared for my strength test which I kinda predicted. Was told that in order to drop to <10%, face="Trebuchet MS">
But the good news was, my hamstring was cleared!!! Right hamstring was slightly stronger than the left.

Game started smoothly & shooters were converting the shots & I was "convinced" that we might be able to win the game. Outcome wasn't what I expected.

Fatigue comes into play very soon which leads to poor performance, poor vision, poor options. Everyone do gets fatigue at a point, is just a matter of how one controls it.

Team game needs the unit to work together & perform.

I can only give advice, not solution.

Words came out from my mouth were bad omen...

"The girl's taping was quite similiar to ACL taping. Somemore put on knee brace. Does she have ACL?" I was referring to "Allowanas" GA.

And during the game, she got herself injured after trying to save the ball. She couldn't move at all, couldn't stand up properly, couldn't walk by herself. Hmm... familiar scene... I shall asked around about her condition & see if it's really ... Anyway she should take a break from netball...

Don't tell me I can foresee thing?

♣ 蜻蜓的故事 ♣

在一个非常宁静而美丽的小城，有一对非常恩爱的恋人，他们每天都去海边看日出，晚上去海边送夕阳，每个见过他们的人都向他们投来羡慕的目光。

可是有一天，在一场车祸中，女孩不幸受了重伤，她静静地躺在医院的病床上，几天几夜都没有醒过来。白天，男孩就守在床前不停地呼唤毫无知觉的恋人；晚上，他就跑到小城的教堂里向上帝祷告，他已经哭干了眼泪。

一个月过去了，女孩仍然昏睡着，而男孩早已憔悴不堪了，但他仍苦苦地支撑着。终于有一天，上帝被这个痴情的男孩感动了。于是他决定给这个执着的男孩一个例外。上帝问他：“你愿意用自己的生命作为交换吗？”男孩毫不犹豫地回答：“我愿意！”上帝说：“那好吧，我可以让你的恋人很快醒过来，但你要答应化作三年的蜻蜓，你愿意吗？”男孩听了，还是坚定地回答道：“我愿意！”

天亮了，男孩已经变成了一只漂亮的蜻蜓，他告别了上帝便匆匆地飞到了医院。女孩真的醒了，而且她还在跟身旁的一位医生交谈着什么，可惜他听不到。

几天后，女孩便康复出院了，但是她并不快乐。她四处打听着男孩的下落，但没有人知道男孩究竟去了哪里。女孩整天不停地寻找着，然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩却无时无刻不围绕在她身边，只是他不会呼喊，不会拥抱，他只能默默地承受着她的视而不见。夏天过去了，秋天的凉风吹落了树叶，蜻蜓不得不离开这里。于是他最后一次飞落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀抚摸她的脸，用细小的嘴来亲吻她的额头，然而他弱小的身体还是不足以被她发现。

转眼间，春天来了，蜻蜓迫不及待地飞回来寻找自己的恋人。然而，她那熟悉的身影旁站着一个高大而英俊的男人，那一刹那，蜻蜓几乎快从半空中坠落下来。人们讲起车祸后女孩病得多么的严重，描述着那名男医生有多么的善良、可爱，还描述着他们的爱情有多么的理所当然，当然也描述了女孩已经快乐如从前。

蜻蜓伤心极了，在接下来的几天中，他常常会看到那个男人带着自己的恋人在海边看日出，晚上又在海边看日落，而他自己除了偶尔能停落在她的肩上以外，什么也做不了。
这一年的夏天特别长，蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飞着，他已经没有勇气接近自己昔日的恋人。她和那男人之间的喃喃细语，他和她快乐的笑声，都令他窒息。

第三年的夏天，蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的恋人了。她的肩被男医生轻拥着，脸被男医生轻轻地吻着，根本没有时间去留意一只伤心的蜻蜓，更没有心情去怀念过去。

上帝约定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最后一天，蜻蜓昔日的恋人跟那个男医生举行了婚礼。

蜻蜓悄悄地飞进教堂，落在上帝的肩膀上，他听到下面的恋人对上帝发誓说：我愿意！他看着那个男医生把戒指戴到昔日恋人的手上，然后看着他们甜蜜地亲吻着。蜻蜓流下了伤心的泪水。

上帝叹息着：“你后悔了吗？”蜻蜓擦干了眼泪：“没有！”上帝又带着一丝愉悦说：“那么，明天你就可以变回你自己了。”蜻蜓摇了摇头：“就让我做一辈子蜻蜓吧……”

有些缘分是注定要失去的，有些缘分是永远不会有好结果的。爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人就一定要好好去爱他。你的肩上有蜻蜓吗？

♣ Beyond control ♣

After since I started the course, there were too much thoughts in my mind. It's like searching a file/folder in computer but I realised it didn't work for me. I needed a lot of spare time to do my workouts & personal stuff.

But I guessed I got to deal it in my own ways, to sort things out. I'm playing against the time... from 7.20am to 6.30pm, mondays to fridays. Rushing & rushing, and everytime I asked myself, "Is it worth to do?"

"Things aren't beyond my control..." I almost burst into tears yesterday when I really couldn't take it, & thanks to the little sad love story read by the DJ, I teared.

Losing my faith & hope everytime things turned sour.

你相信报应吗？为人处事不好，就别想得到好的待略!

♣ Fresh start ♣

After 5 years, I finally made a decision to further studies. Well~~ I didn't further in my engineering but to another course that's related to what I've been doing for the past 12 years.

The lecturer was so naggy & kept saying good things about ITE. Though the lesson was a bit dry, I managed to pull it through.

Got to work harder now... I don't have much time to do what I want. No time for weights, no time for luxury, no time for pleasure... even NSL is starting soon... my goodness...

Just endure for 2 years...

♣ Passed!!! ♣

Yeah!!! I passed my English Proficiency Test!!! Was so delighted upon receiving the letter stating I passed!!! I could still remember shading the OAS paper for 100 questions & I was struggling towards the end of the paper section, Close Passage.

I can't wait for Friday to come!!! It's GOOD FRIDAY!!!

I needed a break badly...

I wanna go on holidays.... to where? Korea? Japan? Rome?

Sigh~~~ No $ no talk..

♣ Passionfruit is in town ♣

Finally it's here in Singapore!!! Just had 1 & it's so yummy.... My favourite fruit~~~

♣ Stop it ♣

Fed up by you again.

Just stop it.

♣ S.P.A.M ♣

Fern, Ling & I went for S.P.A.M event organised by SSC yesterday at St. James Power House. We reached there at 4.15pm for the rehearsal but guess what? Netballers were forgotten for the rehearsal & the rest were happily glad that their part were ran through. I asked the lady who's in charge of us why we were not in the rehearsal & she checked with the "man". Oh ya, before I forgot, I did ask the one when's our turn to go? And she was so rude in replying, "Oh, I also don't know leh. Wait for the "man" to call you all." What the hell is she to give me that irritating face.

After the lady clarified with the "man", "he" came & apologised to us & said he will slot us in after fashion show 2. And the one came & be a parrot of the "man". I was so pissed off & told Fern, "Wow, now so eager to inform us!" I bet she heard it but no choice, I was super duper pissed off. And she tried to be nice by coming over to tell us where the snacks were & I gave her a "don't come & trigger me" look.

No more rehearsal after that & everyone got to go on with whatever they need to do. We were guessing whether they will forget us again. And true indeed, they really forgot. Until we were beside the one again. She saw us & panicky, she talked on the walkie talkie & said "netballers are here. netballers are here." Arghhh!!!! Super irritating!!! No choice, we got to "parade" ourselves with our own netball shorts (luckily it's ours), size M jackets & size S sports bra (provided by them). It was a joke! The MCs don't know what to talk about Netball!!!

The clowns were the "boys" from Dragonboat. 2 of them actually did push ups trying to show off in front of us. Trying to impress?

♣ Biodex test again ♣

In my previous post I wrote about my ACL leg getting stronger & therefore, I did biodex test again. Before I kicked off, Steve was so kind to me. He helped me releasing the tightness of my leg. Thanks!!!

Just for a change, I started with my ACL leg first instead of the good leg. It really felt good doing today than the previous time I did it.

Good news : I have 14% of deficit but the total work is 19%.

I have another 2 more weeks to pump the ACL leg again. Hopefully I can "graduate" from there.

Today is the happiest time I've ever been for the past 10 months.

♣ Muscles big big lah ♣

My right quad is getting bigger now, which is a good sign? 3 days of intensive weights program really fired the quad & that means I'll be gaining more mass. *Arghhh* I must control my diet now... No more chocolates...

On my way back home, I thought about the times when I had my ACL operation. Thanks to those who stayed by my side til I finished the op. I'm really grateful to you all though I tend to forget sometimes.

After looking through the namelists of the nsl teams, Fern told me to be careful of that crazy woman. She's playing!!! Will she go crazy again?

I envy the rest. I hope to do my best for myself,& nobody else.

♣ Tougher & tougher ♣

Suppose to blog yesterday but I was left with little time to do preparations for next training. Not mentally preparation but to prepare training & after shower clothings. I've been hitting the gym to pump my ACL leg since wednesday. It's getting stronger now, so let's hope that I can clear this time round.

Open squad did total of 19 sets of shuttle runs. I really can't imagine how will I survive that... I need to buck up...

It's getting nearer & nearer & I really hate it...

♣ blah blah blah ♣

Took 1/2 day to pray to this god called 虎爷;it means tiger god. People prayed to this god to wish that their work will go smoothly without nuisance around them, & I do it too. I want my work to go smoothly without nuisance around or rather say everything that evolves my life will go smoothly. Well~~~ if you aren't from Taoism, you won't know about all this.

Things aren't getting as simple as I thought nowadays... If you try to be funny, be prepare to get played back.

This is only the start & I felt sick about it already. How am I suppose to go through it for the next few years?

*shout* "I'm restless with insufficent rest... I want freedom back..."

♣ 1st national training of 2008 ♣

Before court work, we gathered for a meeting with Lisa to talk about training. I was shocked after looking through the paper she gave us. Trainings on Monday to Saturday!!! My goodness... my life~~~ When she said that Rashid will plan the conditioning session, I gave out a "shock" sound & she asked "Why?" I just shook my head & smiled back. Of all people, why choose him again... Oh no!!! Beep test runs again...

I just realised that I'm the OLDEST in this current national squad. *cry*

I won't be doing court work/ play games for the next 3 weeks until I do the test again & hopefully I can clear it. Fern said that people will start to question me like "Why can you play World Champs when you weren't cleared?" If you were in my shoes, will you go for it? Right now there's no major competition & I really want my leg to be fully recovered.

If anyone thinks it's easy to clear, then please have an ACL injury & go through it.
You won't understand how I feel as you only think for yourselves.
Can anyone imagine the soreness at the back of the knee & you can't even straighten the leg after all the trainings/games?

♣ Not passed! ♣

Did the biodex test today again & this is the 11th time I've done it. I don't think any athletes have done so much in their life before. Well~~~ this time I felt good doing it but the result wasn't that great.

Good news : ACL leg has grown stronger.
Bad news : Good leg also grown stronger.

Sigh~~~ In the end, I'm not cleared yet. Soooo frustrating!!!

NSL selection has changed the format & this time round Lisa, the natioal coach, will allocate national players into the teams. Arghhh~~ I don't want to play for xxx.

♣ NSL selection ♣

It's always been a headache to decide which team to play for & I really hope this time round I'm lucky enough to be in the team I want to. Only 2 choices in my mind & I'm already set, just have to know the capping for each team.

I want to be more happy playing for the team rather than being discouraged all the time. Let's hope I'm lucky enough this year. And... NO MORE INJURIES!!! I'm out for half a season for 2 years of NSL & it's enough. I want to finish the whole rounds...

♣ Stronger than yesterday ♣

Went for weights at SSC in the evening & as usual, the gang was there. Felt that the "leg" have grown stronger as I could do heavier weights now. The good part was I'm able to increase the weights for my leg extension. *yeah*

I'm packed with trainings next week & I do hope it will not be so high intensity. My only rest day will be... Sunday...

Jia you ba~~~

♣ National Squad 2008 ♣

The list of the squad members was announced in netball singapore website. Well~~ I'm part of the squad too, that means my life will repeat the same life cycle again for the next 4 years. Wondering if it's good or bad.

Often this question has been popping into my mind "Will my leg be as good as before?"

Out of sudden, I thought of this song.

I wonder how, I wonder why

Yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky

And all that I can say

Is just another lemon tree

Sigh~~
Hope that there'll be another "member" coming into my family, CAR.
Needed this "member" once training starts. I can't imagine myself taking bus & train back home, reaching at 11pm. Gosh~~~ If not, $15.00 will be donated to these organisations (Comfort, Citycab, SMRT, SMART, Silvercab) 4 times per week.

♣ L ♣

Went to Imelda's housewarming this afternoon & it was so far away from my area. Took a 45 mins bus ride to her place, half of my energy was drained off during the journey.

Finally we reached her place & I was totally aiming at the food. Nice decoration, especially her room; door-less toilet. ~Woo~ it's kind of interesting... *grin* What I like most is her kitchen basin. ok ok.... I could imagine people laughing at me while reading this part. The basin was big & deep which I really like. Just imagine yourself not getting wet while washing dishes.

Going back home was another draining journey but I just couldn't doze off in the bus. Went to watch L change the WorLd with Ah Wei.


Well~~ this time round, it's not about death note but it's about how L solved the case solely by himself. Worth the $ to watch.

♣ National Squad Selection ♣

Today is the 2nd trial of selection but I didn't get to run the court. Dr Cormac told Lisa that I'm allowed to play only 2 quarters of 10 mins which I used up the chances on tuesday. Hence, I got no choice but to sit down & watched the games.

Seems like the 1st few games were unenjoyable & Lisa came up & gathered all of us, giving us the stuffs that she wanted to see on court. Simple things : Hands up defence, Play the ball straight down instead passing to the side.

Finally the selections ended before 9.30pm & here I am blogging again. I was disappointed that I didn't strike Toto. Arghhh!!!

♣ End of Daisy Tan Carnival ♣

Sunday 12.30pm under the blazing hot sun playing netball carnival. Can you imagine playing under this kind of weather when others were happily doing their shopping in air-conditioned mall?

Round 2 of Daisy Tan Carnival with 8 teams of ladies playing... Luckily the umpires were kinda good at catching infringements, or rather say they actually blow for infringements. Needed all these calls when playing against rougher teams.

History breaker in 2008 : Blaze got 1st!!!

We've been waiting for this day for so long~~~

BANDUNG~~~~~

HOCK!!!!

♣ Yummmmm Cha!!! ♣

After such a long request from majority, yum cha gathering finally arrived! Took quite awhile to search for the shophouse & finally we reached our destination.

The pleasure to enjoy the aroma, sipping the tea slowly was so refreshing!

Enjoyed the tea without gulping it down... was totally fascinated by the aroma...

Found an interesting stuff...

What Hui Yan Means

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

♣ Skip training ♣

Suppose to be club training but I didn't go because I looked too ugly to go further out. Went to remove those bumps on my face & was "scarred" from it. People who had seen my face would definitely asked, "What happen to your face?" I can't imagine having chicken pox.

Well... Been working hard since I didn't want to go out further from my house area so I did my runs. Today was a miracle when my youngest sis wanted to run with me!!! Oh my gosh!!! Nice run & I made her do squats & lunges.

Special day~~~
*wink*

♣ Buck up time ♣

Been staying in comfort zone for too long. Be it work, personal or sports, it's time to buck up & not let everything sail away.

Through thinking is not enough to make a success but through actions, they can. Imagine if you keep thinking that you will slim down 1 day without doing any single exercises & be a couch potato, will you really slim down? It's not hard trying, it's the start to do things that's hardest.

It's easy to let things fly past you but will you be able to catch them when you realise how much they mean to you?

Impressed that these stuffs came out from thoughts without thinking twice.

I'm going back for rehab tomorrow & will ache badly on sunday. I swear...

♣ Unstable Emotions ♣

Is it due to PMS or is it just a bad day? Does one really get emotional due to PMS or having a bad day?

Thanks for telling what's wrong.

With this excuse, it's easier to flare the emotions out after bottling so much stuffs inside.

And thanks to the Korean drama, The Coffee Prince.

This is part of the excuse to flare emotions.

Does anyone share the same sentiments?

♣ Extra hard efforts ♣

Chin said that if I'm gonna try for this year squad, I got to work extra hard for my ACL leg. It's 8 months after operation & I'm still nowhere... Too slack? I guess so... I need to get my motivation back again...

♣ Pissed or Peace ♣

Wondering how they judge the game each time they were assigned. Judge by the team or the players? Is it fair? Is it consistent? Ask yourself how you judged it.

You had made us become even stronger when the judgements were not consistent. With this inconsistency, we had no choice but to do tougher & be rougher. It's not fair when one side was penalised & the other wasn't.

I'm totally pissed off by the inconsistent judgements by you. When's the judgement when one was over my body? Do you know I got to use my entire body weight to support one's bodyweight when the one wasn't that light? I'm playing netball, not rugby!!!

♣ A day with entertainments ♣

Finally got to meet up with my closest friend & had our lunch at Sakae Sushi. I suggested to go singing as the kick came & to adding to my delight, she agreed to sing too. Yeah!!! Kbox at Marina Square! 1st time there & the system was so good that I could sing non-stop.

Her dearest came & she forced him to sing Jacky Cheung's song. The moment he sang, I was like "WOW" & it's an enjoyment to listen to him singing. 1st time hearing a guy who could really sang so well unlike those guys next door who were singing out of pitch.

Watched movie with my dearest again... "I am Legend"

This movie really freaked me out which I couldn't even understand why it's so scary to watch. But I must say it's a nice movie that has all the feelings in it.

I've been watching movies for the past few weeks.

"Alien vs Predator 2" - really sucks to watch.

"Mission sex control" - comedy & a good educational on birth control.

♣ Facial products are here!!! ♣

Yippee~~ the products I ordered are here already & I'm starting to use it already. So delighted. Cheaper than the products in Singapore.

♣ 2008 ♣

New year new resolution but i'm still planning for mine. Everything is a ? for me. Til now my mind is full of ??? on how certain people are thinking & treating me. Beware... i'm observing.

Politics are everywhere & I can't stand it. I need to get out from it as soon as possible.

Hypocrites? I've seen it which I can't even stand it. Too fake... endotherm at boiling point, ectotherm at freezing point.

What to do?