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Left for good

Today is Lisa's last day in Singapore and many people went to send her off. While on my way to Changi Airport Terminal 1, I felt sad out of sudden and tears formed in my eyes. Of course, I didn't tear and controlled collecting back the tears. Finally Lisa reached and she proceeded to check-in and I went over to say hi to her. She gave me a warmth hug and once again, I felt emo again. Luckily the 19s gals came over and talked to her, and I managed to walk off and talked to friends. Gossips gossips gossips... that's what women are capable of and obviously I'm one of them. I just need people to hear me complain... Well... off track...back to the topic...

Here comes the emo stage...
Huilin wrote a card for Lisa and insisted to read out the 10 things I will miss about Lisa... I almost break down upon hearing it and turned away to avoid crying. Soon... the gals cried... Li Li passed me a pack of tissue and slowly as I turned, I saw many crying so badly. I was shocked. I passed them the tissue and tried hard to control my emotions but eventually I break down too. I just hate the Goodbyes...

Questions were flashing in my mind, asking myself how how how...the same old questions flashing back in 2007. Will I get to see her again? Can she be our coach again?

Teamwork

Yesterday went to watch Singapore Slingers 96 -72 Satria Muda BrtiAma @ Singapore Indoor Stadium. Finally from being an idiot who don't understand basketball, I can analyse what are the opponents' strategies. Obviously Satria Muda BrtiAma has a lot of individual players and seems like there's no teamwork at all. Whoever gets the ball will just try their luck to push their way through.

There's 1 touching moment in the game; the last minutes in last quarter when Slinger's youngest and inexperienced player, Prasad, went on court. The players on court were so NICE that they created opportunity for him to put up a shot. Once Prasad scored, everyone on the bench stood up and cheered for him. At that point of time, my eyes were watery. I envied them; working together as a team, helping one another to excel. That's the way man...

Housewife chores

Early in the morning, we (the 3 sisters) woke up to send our parents off at the airport. Once our parents saw their friends, they simply forsake us. Once reached home, I proceeded to prepare "Yong Tau Foo" for my dad's customer. It's been so long since I have touched the slimy fishmeat...

After the job was done, I started to do housewife's chores; vaccum floor, mop floor, do laundry (I even washed my blankets and gosh... the water turned brown!!!) Guessed I will be 黄脸婆 for the next 3 days but it was satisfying after stepping on clean tiles... :)

Reality

This gonna be long...

It's always hard to accept the reality. All living things have emotions. Be it the loss of loved ones or loss of personal property, there'll bound to have sadness in every individual. Though I never expect this decision, i still need to face the reality. If not, I won't be able to move on to give support and display the potential.

Thinking back 2 years ago, I thought I couldn't move on but I did it. Being with her for 4 years & to move on, it's really hard too. From the start of trainings with the new coach, I really couldn't adapt; couldn't see the familiar face or hear the familiar voice... couldn't called her name anymore...Yes, it was tough for me. But the fact was, she's already left and all I must do was to move on and give my best support to the new coach. It really took me awhile to adapt to the new coach and I must really thanked her for not giving up on me; keep believing me that my confidence will come back one day.

There are a lot of mysteries behind the decision and no one will know the truth behind it, but some things shouldn't be judged on the surface.

From the management perspective, it's important to have team results in order to get sponsorship/fundings & it's a sad thing that Singapore only recognise "GOLD" or "CHAMPION". Hence, we should understand the need to win. Yes, there's a need for enjoyment but we must always remember that in ELITE level, we must produce visible results.

The blame is on the management but what if she decided to take up the offer? Will everyone blame or happy for her? To blow up this matter and fighting for what she deserve will not help. We can't change their decision and it will be worse too face the management in future. Please... I just want to play peaceful netball for 2 more years.

Life have to go on no matter what happens... I'm not a noble person and have my own flaws but I must carry on with life to pursue my dreams and interest. :)

The ones who can move on will be the greatest man on earth.

Everything happens for a reason

I agreed with the this phrase "Everything happens for a reason"

If I haven't got the chance to be in national netball team, I won't be able to ...
1. notice the changes in my friends
2. notice who are my true friends
3. see the true colours of people
4. see the change in people's behavior
5. feel the importance of personal contacts
6. have more friends after losing few
7. realise the people who care for me

With all the tasks around me, I can see one another's bad habits which I dont get to see often and it's ugly...

I tried to cool down but the thought of this word "dear" really made me frustrated. I guessed it's just me feeling frustrated over this small thing. I knew the truth & accepted it but I still couldn't get over it. The thought of her really makes my blood boil...

"This is not the 1st time already mah...You should know that the girls are like that"

I was awaken by this sentence... How many more times do I have to be frustrated, brooding about all these stuffs? I'm also a human with feelings... where's the sensitivity?

Not appreciating

Went to watch Kobe Bryant @ Singapore Indoor Stadium and wasn't really felt excited. The atmosphere and audience really made the event successful but I could only said I didn't enjoy myself there. If he could do a few stunts, that might impressed me but nahhh. It was merely a coaching clinic and gosh, Brand N... made Singaporeans watched a training session. Well... at least they used Kobe Bryant to lure me to this event. So if anyone wanna ask me about the event, you can forget about it as I will describe it in a boring manner...

Moody after reading emails and could sensed that she had no intention to help us at all and made me disappointed. It's either we change our plan, if not, we shall be thick-skinnned to beg for help.

Ear Candling for the 1st time

Went for ear candling with Mighty Joe at Ang Mo Kio and was a bit nervous as I did not know what is the whole process. The lady kept explaining to me the benefits of ear candling and at the same time, insert the stick into my ear. I could feel and hear the sucking sound in my ear and frankly speaking, it's really amazing. A relaxing session with a bit of massage around the neck area. Right now I could feel both of my ears cleaner and lighter without the "shit" in it. Shiok!

Sweet friend

It's hard to have a good friend who remembers what you like to eat, smell or drink & your dislikes. Other than my bf, family, the next closest is my teammate cum classmate, Ling. She remembered little single stuffs of mine & I'm really glad to have her. When I knew that she got to lay off from Asian Champs & needed an op, my heart really ached. Tears flowing down like a running tap... I could feel how my SNOT07 felt when they knew that I got ACL back in 2007. Hope she will recover soon. Can't wait to play with her again... Let me finish my national well...

Loss...

Few hours ago, the atmosphere was tense & everyone on court was fighting "hard" for the ball. Micky & Jean did their very best to intercept the ball off that 2m tall shooter. "They" were leading all the way & i was thinking why i couldn't do something different on court. Will be going back to Singapore tomorrow. Dreads the thought of going back.

Awaiting at the Finals

The whole Singapore Netball Team is awaiting to give the BIG BANG to the Sri Lanka crabs. We will make sure they will have to work double hard for the ball.

1 down

Today friendly against Hong Kong and we started badly...unable to find the flow & the play aren't smoothly. What's wrong? We had preparations before we came here & what we displayed here didn't prove everything. One of our players was down with injury & hopefully she will be able to be stronger. Saturday will be our 1st match against Chinese Taipei & hope that we will be able to display our skills & game plans on court. Ever since I'm here, I've been very sleepy & wanting to sleep. Yawned in training & game. Sigh~ shouldn't have done it.

Asian Champs 2009

In few hours time, I'll be travelling to Kuala Lumpur for Asian Champs. Excited over it? Nope... it seems like a normal competition to me, is it good or bad? I really hope I can break through my limits this time round. Please do come & support Singapore Netball Team! Really appreciated...

Crackers @Yishun

Was it PMS?

Was in foul mood at work today but my supervisor actually made my day. =) Had a heart to heart session which I'd been yearning for a year and finally today, I knew that I wasn't alone out there. There were eyes seeing the situation and how I'd been treated so far. So glad that "they" made my mental strength even stronger, I guessed whatever nonsense I would be encountered down the road, I won't be shaken by it. Should I believe in Kharma? Will she get retribution for treating people so badly?

Jokes from my teammate, PQ

两只青蛙相爱了，婚后却生了只蛤蟆！青蛙爸一看就大怒：贱人，怎么回事？青蛙妈哭着说：小青爸，我认识你之前我整过容嘛。。。
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狗看上了熊；对熊说：嫁给我吧，你会幸福的，熊会说：我才不呢，嫁给你只能生狗熊！我要嫁给猫，生了熊猫有了身份后，以后日子就好过了！
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蜜蜂狂追蝴蝶，蝴蝶却嫁给 蜗牛。蜜蜂不解：他哪里比我强？蝴蝶回：人家好歹有自己的房子，哪像你住集体宿舍啊！

Impressed by Mum

To my astonishment, I was impressed by my own mother on the situation of H1N1. Though she's not well-educated, she knew that if one didn't have fever, the person didn't have to be quarantined. Ha!!! Well done, mother! It proved that those well-edcuated people didn't have knowledge about this virus.

Shack from training

Today Opens trained at Jurong West Sports Hall and just by doing shooting, I was sweating profusely and breathing hard. When we were divided into groups of 4 and did attacking and defending, everyone was so tired and the air ventilation wasn't goood. Before training ended, we did our SPEED work... 4 full court suicide runs, did 1 half court suicide run when we didn't finish our drill, 8 x 10m, 8 x 5m. Gosh... I was shacked... no... everyone was shacked. Nightmare had just started... we'll have more on thursday... oh no....

OMG

Got approval from my boss stating that I DO NOT have to be quarantined at home and yet people in my office are avoiding me. Refused to sit in their respective areas when I'm around and eventually when they sat, they started to use sanitizer. My throat itch, coughed once and heard a "cek" sound, followed by the use of sanitizer. Damn it... I couldn't take their nonsense anymore and took a day off.

Knew that my other colleagues were quarantined after coming back from Tokyo and so, I knew that they got to be quarantined as Japan got infected cases. But mine is different!!! Can't they understand that Scotland wasn't affected? The amazing thing is people didn't dare to eat the stuffs bought from Japan. Ha! Will H1N1 be so amazing that it can spread through food?

Fern said that "they" are uneducated. I said "they" are overreacting.

Away from 17th to 28th May 2009

I will be off to Scotland from 17th to 28th May. This will be a good chance for me to take a break and relax myself... I shall enjoy the coldness over at Glasgow and forget about the hotness in Singapore. Yeah!!! Bye everyone!!!

Emo week

This week has been an emo week for me and I couldn’t find the reason behind it. I expected myself to be more frustrated over stuffs due to my PMS but it’s not the anger for this month, it was sadness. On Monday, I wrote an email to Kate, my ex national coach, and upon seeing her reply, my eyes were watery. After work when I walked home, I felt like crying all of a sudden and I didn’t know why I am in this state.

Few more days before I leave to Scotland(which I'm yearning to go), a break from work and life in Singapore. Perhaps the happiest thing is, no one will be able to find me. I don't have to face the people whom gave me tough moments when I could almost do irrational things.

Though sadness was there, I had a sweet surprise from Jill Macintosh, the ex Aussie national coach. An email saying hi from her really made my day. =)

为何？

为何快乐的时光总是哪麽快就过了？只花了几个钟头在网上就已经十二点！可怜的我明天还得上班赚钱。。。真希望能横财！这一来我能享受无忧无虏的日子，也不用看别人的脸色。。。

Happy Times

Went out with Ms Song & Ling for dinner and my favourite past-time, singing. The dinner @ 黑涩会..restaurant was great. Out of surprise, Ms Song treated us dinner. After dinner, we headed down to Kallang Leisure KBox. Today I'm on form; never sang out of pitch. When I took out my DSLR, it seems to have distracted Ms Song who couldn't concentrate in singing. Really want to thank them for being great friends of mine.

Feels good...

Yesterday game against the mens was great. I managed to play better ever since NSL started. Perhaps I could get the balls when I did my movements in the circle and finished the shots in the end. The feeling was undescribeable. =) There're more improvements to be done and I will try to play like an Aussie!

真的厌卷了

有时候真的猜不透到底哪个人的脑子在想什么！每一天的日子都好难过啊！有谁能帮帮我解除我所有的辛苦，痛苦和悲伤？我几乎每天都想大喊来发泄一下下，但我却做不到。如果有一天我不在了，我一定会怨魂不散的缠着你。你就走着瞧吧！

为什麽做人要这麽幸苦? 想每一天过个快乐的日子都困难？凭白无故的被排斥。到底踩到她那根筋? 真希望总有一天我所发的白日梦都会实现!

Yes!!! Finally it's over.

Yesterday was the last game for Vipers and though we didn't start well, the fighting spirit was still amazing. We bite on til the end, giving the opponents no chance to let loose. That's the way, Vipers! And now I got more time to do my own things, more recovery time for my aching body.

Draw

Today's game vs Stingrays was so tight and "fierce" and no one dared to let loose of one another. I had seen another good side of Vipers; fighting for the ball so hard every second. This is really the fighting spirit I've been yearning for after so long. I should be awarded to the title of "The worst ball passer" for today's game. My passes were terribly bad which I thought they weren't. I thought I placed nicely for Rach but it kept went out. I should have controlled myself for doing that pass but it's so tempting to pass it to her. 

IF...

I controlled the pass, we might have win.

I didn't go to her path, it would not have caused a replay and lost that possession.

I worked harder, things will be easier.

So many IFs... 

I won't let this happen to me again... No more. 

A bag of clothes lost!!!

If anyone happened to take a PINK SUPRE shopping bag with dirty clothes (JEANS, POLO TEE SHIRT, undergarments), PLEASE RETURN THEM TO ME!!!

Wondering who had taken it by mistake or purposely took it... If it's on purpose (stealing), you just hoped that your fingers will not rot by themselves and the terribe itchyness on the body after wearing the stolen clothes.

I'm terrible, isn't it? That's just me...

To whom it may concern

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Chinese Garden

Down with cough

Since saturday, i fell sick and slept through the whole day and managed to drag myself to see the doctor on sunday.Wondering if it's wasting my $$ on that clinic as the medicine wasn't that effective. My cough was so unpredictable and got to control it in office. Sigh~~~ hope that I didn't spread to the rest. "I'm trying very hard"

Missed 2 trainings but got to drag myself for weights on wednesday. The gym was so noisy that I couldn't stand it. Missed those quiet times...

NSL is starting this weekend and my team is playing the 1st match. "Bo bi ah... shun shun li li"

After so long

Finally I changed the blog song and couldn't believe that I got no time to change it. Yes!!! After so long, finally the last paper was over & I'm so happy over it. The thought of exams... YEEK!!!

Wanna do a lot of things and going around taking photos but no time for it... the schedule for next few months will be so packed... oh no... hopefully that this year NSL, there'll be more spectators watching. Sometimes it's quite pathetic to see the games with so few spectators around. What's wrong with the culture here? Isn't it worth to watch the games?

Daisy Tan Carnival 2009

After 8 hours of netball, I'm totally burnt out from the carnival. Quite happy with my runs today and the toughness on court but died off after that. Seeing the tertiary group playing netball, I wonder why is it so different. They looked so relax playing and even chasing after the ball, they ran slowly. Envy!!!

Saw XiaoHe today and he's such a cutie...

1st post of the year

I can't imagine that I haven't been blogging... No time to blog, or rather say I already forgotten about blogging. My body needs rest and holiday very badly; having neck pains... I guess age is catching up... Oh no. Missed the chance to win the Toto on tuesday... :'( Please let me strike the one on coming Friday!!! Huat ah!!!